Time to establish respectful dynamics
How to define workplace friendships, setting boundaries, and more
Welcome to another edition of ProductiveGrowth 🌱, weekly stories about productivity, leadership, motivation, and anything else that helps us and our teams grow and be more productive. Plus, industry news on the companies, products, and services that allow us to work less and do more.
TL;DR
Hey guys! I’m glad to have you back.
Many years ago, I had a workaholic boss. He worked all day, every day. I would get emails at 3 or 4 a.m., and he would ask if I had read them at 8 a.m. the next morning. I started getting to the office earlier than him to read the emails by the time he arrived, but that was unbearable. I am not a morning person and waking up one hour earlier felt like hell. I decided I had to tell him, but I was terrified to do so. When I finally did, everything changed.
Setting boundaries is our responsibility. I knew he wasn’t going to stop sending me emails at that time, but now he understood that I wouldn’t be reading them before 8 a.m. We ended up learning a lot from each other.
This issue is about boundaries—how to define your own, how to know if your team has a boundary problem, and how to take responsibility for your wellbeing.
I hope you enjoy it.
Best,
Steve
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EDITOR’S PICKS
👯♀️ Friends with boundaries: handling friendships in the workplace
I find the topic of setting boundaries with work friends really interesting because having work friends is great... until it isn't. We all know those people: the work friend who overshares something you exposed in confidence, the one who expects you to promote their ideas to colleagues, or the one who wants you to speak highly of them in the workplace (even when you’re uncomfortable doing it). Work friends can certainly make the day better, but that doesn’t mean they know how to separate friendship from work. This article from Business News Daily shares six things you should pay attention to when working with friends. While I don’t agree with all of it, I do think that understanding the type of friendship you have and setting appropriate boundaries will help you maintain the right relationships.
✅ How to establish healthy boundaries at work
Boundaries are a tricky subject. The limits are not the same for everyone, and those who cross them probably don't even know they're trespassing your boundaries. Therefore, you need to be upfront and set them as soon as you can. This article by Career Contessa shares eight ways to delimitate your boundaries and share them with others. Saying no, delegating, and communicating better are some of the tips she shares.
If you’re more interested in this topic, Career Contessa also has an amazing podcast called The Femails, that deep dives into the world of women, work, and what it takes to build a successful and fulfilling career on your terms. This episode is about how to work with people you don’t like.
🧰 How to set boundaries at work when it’s hard (especially when remote)
This is how an unhealthy work environment looks like, according to award-winning science and business journalist, entrepreneur Shane Shaw:
Having no limits “not only leads to more abuse of your boundaries but also increases people’s expectations that you will be available on-demand for them no matter the cost to you,” explains Shaw in this article from Forbes. He shares a powerful real-life story to illustrate how boundaries can be hard to set after a long time and mentions an interesting concept: boundaries vs. barriers. These are not the same thing. Boundaries are meant to keep a healthy relationship while barriers are non-negotiable. Read the full piece by clicking on the link above.
🚩How to set weekend boundaries with your boss
We usually believe that others are the ones behaving poorly. They are the ones that need to change their behaviors. They should know that emailing at 3:00 a.m. and calling at 8:00 p.m. is unacceptable, and they need to stop. Maybe that’s true, but your tranquility cannot depend on others' behavior.
In 2015, 34% of the US population worked weekend shifts that were not on their schedule, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
The truth is that those things bother you because your boundaries are not clear, or at least that’s what Jennifer Shryock writes in her piece on setting weekend boundaries. She writes, “If your boundary were solid, you’d turn the notifications off, respond with a quick, 'Got it, thanks. I’ll dive in on Monday,' or skippingly ignore your inbox until it’s time to work.” And she’s right, isn’t she? If this sounds like you, it might be time to think about how you’re communicating your boundaries.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
How to approach difficult conversations with your manager. (Pt 1.)
Managing difficult conversations is a soft skill everyone should work on improving. No one likes to hear their employee has a condition that will jeopardize their health and the way they work. Productive Growth’s Camila Mirabal shares her experience with the subject and some initial tips to handle it in a more empathetic manner. Check it out here.
SCROLLING THROUGH
Don’t miss this thread by Shaan Puri, senior director of Product, Mobile Gaming & Emerging Markets at Twitch about the most effective way to cold outreach someone and actually get an answer.
DISCOVER
To-do list apps are great, but they have the issue of unlimited capacity—your list of pending tasks might never end. Priorities is an app that intends to combat this issue and allows you to make daily to-do lists with only your top 3-5 highest priority tasks. It’s a great way to break your master to-do list into smaller ones, making your stay productive and focused. Read the full review here.
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Edited by: Lauren Maslen.